Ina Garten: Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother
Perhaps she has forgotten:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/lifestyle/article-15328491/ina-garten-haunting-struggles-vulnerably-opened-not-having-kids.html
And perhaps she does not remember:
"And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers, less I come and smite the earth with a curse." Malachi 4:6 KJV
Childhood perceptions do not always match the realities faced by adult parents.
Was it an "abusive childhood" which would not cede to the demand of a little girl to paint her room purple? Was it "traumatic" to not receive hugs and kisses after a scraped knee? Is a tug of the hair the same thing as being dragged down the hallway by the hair? Is it a food obsession when a mother hands you an apple and doesn't offer up a slice of apple pie?
In the link below, Ina Garten claims that her father did pull her around by the hair. But interestingly, and quite predictably, she has only fond memories of her grandmother who died when she was still young.
https://jmoreliving.com/2024/10/11/in-new-memoir-ina-garten-reflects-on-childhood-with-abusive-jewish-parents/
Each of us are shaped by our place on the historical timeline. Ina Garten's parents were American Jews who moved into adulthood within two of the most tumultuous periods of our nation. They experienced the deprivation of the severe economic downturn of 1929-1939 and the difficulties our nation faced when we entered World War II. These things shape us and how we respond to our environment.
My mother remembers taking lard sandwiches to school; just a scrape of lard between two large slices of bread. She remembers her mother asking the butcher for "bones for the dog" which she would take home to make a broth for a vegetable soup. The stories are infrequently mentioned. They do not define her today.
Charles and Florence Rosenberg came into adulthood seasoned by unusual realities. Perhaps there were no hugs and kisses for scraped knees because they wanted their child to learn resiliency. With a gaze cast across the Atlantic, the Rosenberg's understood the nature of being a Jew in Nazi Germany. They needed their daughter to be strong.
It is a logical question. If the Rosenberg's son Ken wrote a book, what would he say about his parents? Under the same roof as his sister, would his memoir bring honor to his parents?
There is Truth. And there is the despicable mini-me of "my truth" which can be a veil for deception. We do not choose deception, it chooses us. And none are more easily deceived than children.
Ina Garten's parents clothed her. Her dresses are clean and ironed. There are no patches. Her mother provided food on the table and she did not go to bed hungry. Ina Garten received an education. Her parents kept her safe. And not common for that era, she had a bedroom of her own and did not have to share a space with siblings. She was given a suitable wedding. And sometimes, love does not feel like a hug. It feels like a full stomach from that plate of food placed on the table.
The boldest and strongest threads of the tapestry of her childhood show a pattern of steadfastness and not neglect. And does she have anything nice at all to say about her parents? I have counseled adults in the past who are bitter against their parents. I guide them with the concept of honor. Respect is earned. But honor (like dignity) is your gift to your parents. You treat them with honor, because it speaks to the nature of your character.
It is probably best that Ina Garten chose not to have children. Bitterness seeps. It does not drown. But it is the invisible toxin of life.
If you have not honored your parents recently, today is a great time to pick up the cell phone and make that call. Gratitude, is the most wonderful of Thanksgiving gifts.
swoffordwrites@gmail.com
Added to post. I just looked up Ina Garten on a search engine and found her web page. I laughed out loud because I wrote about love and a plate of food. Apparently, she feels the same - unless it is her mother.
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