Short Notes: Of Kindness and Mourning

Kindness:

Texans are known for random acts of kindness.

Yesterday, it was my turn to take hold of the butterfly wings for a short flight with happiness.  When standing in line for checkout, I do a quick scan of my environment.  This is what an R.N. will do.  But it is also based on my Naval training regarding situational awareness.  The man immediately behind me  was in a wheelchair and had  bilateral BKA (below the knee amputations) which were mid-shaft at the femur.  Most likely, a traumatic injury.  His legs were thin and atrophic so this was not a new injury. He placed a ratcheting socket set, locking pliers and two rolls of duct tape on the conveyor belt.  "Let me pay for that.  I would like to bless you."   As I left I commented, "You have a project!"  He replied, "No, just some needed maintenance on the wheelchair."

And then we have these soulless creatures:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15646965/scammers-disabled-man-suicide-north-carolina.html

This brings us to a short note on:

Mourning:

Gunther Eagleman posted this image on his site:

https://x.com/GuntherEagleman/status/2033151381381554687

Military members reduced to ChatGPT avatars. "Hey, GhatCPT!  Gimme the six crew members who died with all of them in uniform, saluting and smiling.  And place the flag and a couple of aircraft in the background!"

In time,  all six oath keepers will be honored.  But their remains are most likely still in transit to the Dover Airfield.  This is still fresh... acute... and the beginning point of grief.  It is - a time to mourn.

Mourning should be relational and not performative.  Mr. Eagleman has put on a performance for his audience.  Character responds to grief with compassion, but also the necessary silence. And the bigger picture should not be reduced to the smaller picture; certainly not like the image above.

Take a minute to look at the bigger picture.  Imagine the crew as their aircraft plummeted to the earth. What were their final thoughts?  Take a minute or two and visualize what the relatives endured when they were unable to contact their family member.  The phones of additional members of the detachment will also be silent because the duty to deliver the news lies within a separate chain which will include an Air Force chaplain.   This is an act of respect from other members of the team; one which denotes an understanding that far from the battlefield, another battle is about to begin.  A world will be shattered with a simple knock on the door. 

Imagine the primary contact:  as they bathe, put on their best clothes, and if it is a wife, possibly clean the home because you want everything to look just right when the news is delivered.  Small children will have been placed under the care of a relative.  Dishes with homemade casseroles might have already been delivered.

This is a time to mourn.  A time to weep.  And sometimes, we  do not properly know how to pray until we have allowed ourselves to also shed a tear.

But let us not reduce this sacrifice to a non-sentient being which lacks a central nervous system but merely possesses a network of algorithms.  Mourning requires awareness.  And it requires kindness extended toward those who mourn.  To shove the computer-generated image above into the face of the family members would bring pain.  There would be no comfort.  

It is fine if you disagree with my thoughts.  This is about freedom of expression.  But my belief is that the image is inappropriate.  Because for everything -  there is a season  (Book of Ecclesiastes).