Single Imprint Trauma

  

Yesterday,  a female Muslim clerk at "Family Dollar" complimented me on my outfit.  "You have a green blouse and a green purse.  It is my favorite color."   I have started to form a personal bond with her over many months. For her personality to shine through, I must first show interest in her.  Personalities remain hidden in the presence of strangers.  She is beginning to show me "who" she really is; not just the nameless, quiet clerk who scans a few items and places them in a bag. As she realizes that she can trust me - I will receive in return, the gift of her friendship.

Naturally, when arriving home, I shopped at Amazon and purchased a green cross-body purse for her.  It was on my doorstep this morning and will be given to her tomorrow.  Community must always be anchored with love.  

Tonight, I just returned home from a monthly volunteer activity at my church.  Continuing to assist with this activity for the past six months  has required a bit of courage.  And I generally leave prior to everyone else.  There remains the issue of "Status Unknown" regarding my friend of five years.

The sadness has lifted in that it is not constant.  But it still comes in waves.  And right now, the tidal wave has a lot of froth.  I continue to struggle with single imprint trauma:  the trauma of having my Muslim friend forced out of my vehicle... watching her walk quietly behind her father enveloped in the darkness of night and disappearing from sight ... knowing the last time I saw her it was the back of her hijab and not her face telling me goodbye... and the final very short call late the next night telling me she could never see me again.  She hung the phone up suddenly. 

A ray of hope has not yet pierced the darkness regarding the status of my lovely friend.  A quarantine exists regarding viable and actionable information.  Certainly, the aunts and uncles, the cousins, have lacked the courage to knock on my door. But then again - who wants to deliver what might be bad news?

https://thelastenglishprince.wordpress.com/2025/04/13/status-unknown/

https://thelastenglishprince.wordpress.com/2025/07/27/what-a-fool-believes/

https://www.theshorthorn.com/news/super-service-saturday-registration-ends-friday/article_a58b0daa-6011-11ef-b77c-77fd0f34abff.html

I miss her desperately.  I miss the bond of friendship which allowed me to see the full bloom of her wonderful personality.  And now?  Grief is the price to be paid for love.  I know the price it has exacted on me. But the price exacted on her?

To know - is better than to be left with a question. 

swoffordwrites@gmail.com 

 

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