Dear President Trump


Dear President Trump,

Since I am about to embark on my latest crime-venture it seems prudent to pop a little note into your private e mail.

Let me introduce myself.

I have always believed that my heritage was Cherokee.  But I had DNA testing done recently in Somalia and it confirmed that I really am Jewish.  This is wonderful news.  Because not only did my Jewish mother die on 9/11, but her cremains were placed into one of the pressure cookers set off by the Tsarnaev brothers at the Boston Marathon bombing on 15 April 2013.  As an aside,  I am also the first cousin of Ambassador Christopher Stevens; who was attacked and killed because of an obscure anti-Muslim video.

But I digress.

I know there have been rumors that I was a pole dancer in a strip club.  But since I lost an arm in Gulf II, it has been virtually impossible for me to find employment.  So, yes,  I did start a small PAC (political action committee) which helped build your MAGA base.  And yes, perhaps I erred in misrepresenting my credentials and had a little "oopsie" when I filched an old veteran's identity.  Oh, the vicissitudes of life!

Did I mention that Marjorie Taylor Greene is a dear friend? She is right up there with Mom, Old Glory and apple pie!

Anyhoo - Please remember that I always vote Republican and that I have courage, conviction, and intelligence - not to be confused with the Navy's core values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment.

So again - as I embark on my latest conquistador journey as a destructive and corrosive political anomaly - please remember that I remain:

Truly yours,

Tammy Swofford


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15203537/Trump-commutes-sentence-jailed-former-GOP-Rep-George-Santos.html

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