The "Friendly Brethren" Assist a Darwinian


Some people are just oxygen thieves.  Or if nothing else, worthy of The Darwin award.

https://www.newsnationnow.com/crime/texas-man-charged-after-alleged-attempt-to-help-isis-build-bomb/

All that is really needed is a simple list to satiate a budding fascination with carnage.  But unfortunately, if "moi" makes an average grocery list and texts it to my husband, the nearest regional police fusion center might take an interest.  "Baby.  I need hydrogen peroxide, powdered sugar, cumin, ascorbic acid, a can of motor oil, and a jar of vaseline... and by the way, a bag of charcoal for the grill.  And come to think of it, we are out of aspirin and powdered coffee creamer."

That evening, whilst  I am funneling the oil into my vehicle with the sound of rib-eye fat popping on the grill; as my powdered sugar icing is ready to top off the freshly baked cake; the home-made hot sauce with cumin is still in the Ninja blender; and the hydrogen peroxide is already placed in the medicine cabinet, I hear the roar of SWAT's monster truck toiling down my street.  "Hell!  I wonder who they are here to assault?  Must be that meth lab down the street."

I remember receiving the taser from Hell, because I urinated on myself when I saw the men barreling toward me like giant cockroaches.   The cake is still on the counter....

It is easy enough to assemble a bomb-making factory within a five hundred square foot space.  Even easier to send your own inbred children to the emergency room and hospitalizations with respiratory illness' which cannot be diagnosed, to induce caustic burns to your own eyeballs, or even worse, blow off your digits and send up half of the neighborhood in flames.  Easy enough - to ship hobbyist items through the mail.

So while it is true that most of these fools will be caught, the worry remains that a boom like the Oklahoma City bombing will occur, as opposed to the "puff piece" managed by the ever Friendly Brethren.   And may every single one of these Darwin awardees find themselves engulfed in a hell of their own creation.

swoffordwrites@gmail.com



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