Savannah Guthrie: Go Home


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Dear Ms. Guthrie:

Do not beg for the return of your mother.  It gives satisfaction to those who have taken her.

Do not make another video.  It will not change the outcome.

Do not get sucked in by the gas-lighting,  the lies,  and even the self-deception  that continues to fan the hope for the physical return of your beloved mother.

If she was not safe at that moment in time when she disappeared, she is not safe now.

You will never see her again and you will never know what happened to her.

Lest you think I am cruel -  I have lived this... walked this path... slept with the nightmares... awakened the next day... to do it all over again.   It is not easy.  But now I understand.  I completely understand the emotional devastation which occurs when an individual is taken - never to be seen again.

The finality of death is easier to bear than the inexplicable erasure of a physical frame from a known landscape without explanation.

It is a crucifying type of pain.  It effects everything your hand touches and every step your foot takes.  And it makes others want to avoid you - because the pain is stark and unyielding.  Our intense pain discomfits the other. Eventually we mask it - we mask the monstrous and the incomprehensible. And there is nothing fair about this process.

I too have lived this.  And with love for you I offer the chaff of my thoughts.

Go home.  Rest.  Be restored to your husband and children who also desperately need you at this moment in time.  Yes.  Return home.  Sleep.  Do not neglect to eat. Exercise a bit. And then take as much time as needed for solitude.  Recreate a cocoon of the familiar and not that which terrifies.  That familiarity lies with your home, your husband, and your children.

Nothing will ever be the same, Savannah.  But you continue to live - because that is what your mother would wish for you to do.

I am so, so sorry.   

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