A Commander-in-Chief Stumbles


When I was a Vice President on the board of our local MOAA chapter, one of the hardest things to endure was the retired senior officers who would "hold court" at the dinner table.  Fonts of wisdom with captive audiences, I would respectfully listen... and learn. And I made myself a promise that I would never become "that person" who wore the uniform.  My dress blues might still hang in the closet.  But I have become that quiet American regarding my Naval career.

"He happened to be an Admiral, retired...."

Perhaps he had been seated at my table in the past?  

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/17/trump-uss-abraham-lincoln-strait-of-hormuz

Yes.  

Absolutely give honor where honor is due and respect where respect is due. But that honor, that respect, is extended to the E3 sailor who cleans a latrine and then makes your breakfast (albeit, hopefully not in that order!) and the E4 who works pumping fuel into jets on the flight deck.  What is not acceptable, is a lack of compassion; a dismissive tone;  a reassurance that from God's mouth, to the Admiral's ear to your callous disregard is not accepted - as we say in the Bible Belt --- as Gospel Truth!  Praise the Lord!

We need to take a moment and consider the invisible people.  These are the families left behind when one of our Fleet assets takes to sea with Naval Surge Doctrine.  In between the images of our sailors lining the flight decks and the same images of them lining the decks on their return to port lies the greater reality.

A couple is no longer a couple.  A parent is now a single parent.  A grandmother may now be more than just a grandmother.  She might be the name the toddler cries out for at two a.m. when battling a fever. A dog, is not just the family dog now.  This animal will also grieve and possibly face the challenges of emotional abandonment. Aging parent?  Maybe that sailor did a weekly grocery run for his father, took him to his doctor visits. Who takes up the slack?

What we should not do, is abandon the families which make it possible for our blood and treasure to board the USS Abraham Lincoln. What we should not do, is be dismissive of the family sacrifices which make it possible for our sailors to do their jobs. The families, are also oath keepers.

I came home after one two week deployment to find wet clothing hanging from a line in the living room.  My husband awaited my arrival to choose a new dryer.  Another time, my son happily chirped, "Daddy let me eat macaroni-and-cheese from the pot!"  My son had devolved to an animal during my absence.  And then their was the time my husband decided to give this same child a haircut.  He did not place the comb on the clipper. The poor boy looked like he had undergone chemotherapy for leukemia.  In fact,  I had women in the grocery story clucking compassionately when they saw him.  These are the fun stories.

The sacrifices for my family were small.  Imagine the sacrifices when a family imagines that Daddy or Mommy will be home in six months and the rotation is extended in indefinite manner? Imagine their fears, when they take note that mental health is deteriorating?

Adultery?  Let's talk about adultery.  An Army officer once remarked to me that he would tell his soldiers not to ever "surprise" their wife coming home from a long deployment.  He had counseled more than one man who had surprised his wife... in bed... with another man.

As a Christian - I understand the act is called a sin.  But reducing such actions to a three letter word (and it is a good one) is also dismissive of the human condition.  Loneliness... desperation... a craving for intimacy...  and actually desperately missing your mate and wanting them to hold you in their arms - can lead to uncomfortable truths regarding frail human frame.  God... understands.

Take a moment and reflect.  If your spouse or partner had to suddenly pack a sea bag  and leave you for six months, which responsibilities will you assume?  Vehicles... lawn equipment... children with dental appointments and homework.  Lonely nights.  Loss of your best friend.

The sailors on the USS Abraham Lincoln deserve better.  The optics are pretty lousy.  And on return to port,  anticipate the Navy will lose some of their best sailors. None of this is aided by the messaging from the Commander-in-Chief. He lacks the understanding of how to perform as an officer and a gentleman.


Tammy 


 

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